Selected Aphorisms to Jaundice Your Day (by C. Ketcham)

    Regarding the abortion debate, I tend to think that life starts when a child develops irony.

    The hope of the human race is that we will learn to disagree without believing in anything.

    Only brothers could hate each other the way Arabs and Jews do.

    The frugal man in a time of prosperity is as wise as he is despised.

    When I hear someone say “I’ll pray for you,” I know nothing will get done.

    The highest purpose of gun ownership is to shoot back at governments.

    It’s almost a certainty today that to be anti-United States is to be pro-American.

    The Internet and portable phones have made waste efficient.

    The ubiquity of the belief in God is proof only that a lot of people can agree to be wrong.

    Priests and judges both wear black robes and they’ll both fuck your children in the ass when you’re not looking.

    In the United States, echolalia is called debate.

    The wildest law-breaking is usually that done in the name of God and country.

    When I hear the American justice system pronounces a man guilty, I will wager on his innocence.

    I trust governments only when I am certain they are lying.

    I will no way endorse any political platform in which people agree with me.

    The brain-damaging effects of cellphones explains a lot of conversation today.

    Wherever human beings mass, they are ugly.

    Finally, a snippet of wisdom from Ed Abbey explaining a little bit of America’s “Texas problem,” from his recently published letters:

    “Why pick on Texas? Because it typifies, concentrates and exaggerates most everything that is rotten in America: it’s vulgar — not only cultureless but anti-cultural; it’s rich in a brazen, vulgar, graceless way; it combines the bigotry and sheer animal ignorance of the Old South with the aggressive, ruthless, bustling, dollar-crazy brutality of the Yankee East and then attempts to hide this ugliness under a facade of mock-western play clothes stolen from a way of life that was crushed by Texanism over half a century ago. The trouble with Texas: it’s ugly, noisy, mean-spirited, mediocre and false.”

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